Happiest little al in the world

The local newspaper has a little section somewhere about halfway through called “Waifs of the Week”. This is a section that the local non-profit stray dog shelter (League for Animal Protection) uses to promote one of their dogs so they can possibly get him or her a loving home. I am all for that cause and have even worked at LAP for a little while when I was younger, and having a weakness for animals, I try to look for this section whenever I pick up the newspaper. I just happened to be flipping through the newspaper yesterday when I found their latest w, so I decided to read it. Before I say anything about it, I’m going to quote the section directly so you can see what I’m going to talk about. Read to yourself or, for extra laughs, read aloud.

“Ember is an iredale Terrier order ollie i a s all youn do . er ca e to on ece er 300 008 fro The Roano e al ley

he is a out 0 pounds icrochipped heartwor ne ati e up to date with routine shots house ro en and spayed.

er has the scruffy eard of an iredale and the curled up tail. he nows her asic co ands and lo es to please.

i e her a chewy toy and she s the happiest little al in the world. er is fine with other do s and o ay with cats ut ay i e a it of a chase in play .

he is a out one year old.”

Now I am aware with the stereotype of a local newspaper being horrible, but wow. With a newspaper as small as our local one, you would assume someone could take a glance and notice if something isn’t right. This box would stand out quite a bit due to the dog picture and the bold border around it. Or wait, I mean the bold order around it. Now I’m not exactly sure if it’s the editor(s), the proofreader(s), the journalist(s), or the printer(s) fault, but this, combined with mistakes the local newspaper has made in the past is most likely why I don’t really read the newspaper. I also assume it’s one of the many reasons why newspaper sales are down and people read everything on the internet. Just because its so fun, I’ll go ahead and add the rest of the newspaper clipping for your reading pleasure.

“NEW: Two do s are arri in this wee fro ni al ontrol one is a order ollie and other is a i .

They will e spayed neutered accinated icrochipped and hearwor chec ed.

lso three cats will e arri in fro the Fran lin ounty u ane oceity .

end dontations to: . . . o 56 40 0.

The shelter is open 8- a. . and 3-5 p. . other ti es y appoint ent.

Societal Implications of (No Homo)

I am typing this in regards to a suffix that I've seen pop up in more and more places. This being the newly devised (no homo). I barely even know where to start. Actually, as I typed that sentence in word, it marked it as a fragment. I guess I'll start with a basic understanding of Latin. Homo is an abbreviation for homosexual, or people of the same sex attracted to each other. When in reality, homo is a prefix, it starts various other Latin words, homo sapiens, homo erectus, homogeneous, and many more that a Latin major could more readily list than I ever could.

In actuality, homo means same. That's why same sex attraction is homosexual, and a homogeneous mixture is of two things that have a uniform composition. So when I breakdown (no homo), it means not the same. Of course, this is something I misconstrued from actually using definitions and common sense. What this phrase is supposed to do is to assure you that the person saying said phrase isn't homosexual. Let me show a common example. "Man, I love you (no homo)". There are so many things wrong with that. This phrase means that when you say that, you assume the other person is automatically going to regard you as homosexual and block out everything you say. So in order to prevent that from happening, we just stick (no homo) on the end there and, boom, problem solved.

Now just even the thought that our society is so homophobic that we need to tack that on end of sentences, scares me. Makes me feel like I'll soon see it on business memos, or government documents. Just imagine that. "I feel the humanitarian aid this business is giving is touching so many people around the world (no homo)." That's another instance I see it in, where something could be thought of as sexual. It's the new age, stupider, less humorous, more direct (if possible) version of saying "That's what she said". And who thought it possible to come up with a more annoying phrase than that?!

I'd like to say that our society has become closer and we have grown less and less prejudice over the years, but something like this sometimes makes me think twice. It's actually gotten to the point that when I hear someone say this, or see it typed by someone, I think less of them. You should be able to say something about love or sex, and not have to say this after. You should be able to say you love someone of the same sex and not have to defend yourself (be it friendship love or otherwise). And who doesn't love to say something that could potentially sound dirty? That's right, no one. Euphemisms have feelings too! I'm going to start a revolt for sex jokes. Either that, or (dare I say it?) make a campaign to bring back "That's what she said". At least that has an air of humor behind it, and there have been plenty of good jokes I've heard from it. Just as long as we don't have to guard what we say or rebuke its potential humor. That, my friends, just isn't the same (no homo).